.

blogging while seated on the throne, stifling a fart along the way. Right knee is aching real bad, must be all the stretching and overexertions of yesterday. Had kopi break with the sjab
kakis and when that happens, we tend to mire ourselves in the past. Think past few days have all been about recapturing memories, not that i have lost them in the first place, just that theres nothing much memorable now . Heh

exercise!

went to pub recre club for sports with the church peeps today. kinda realised i havn done much exercise in a while. badminton was pretty nice, played like around 3 games in all. seems like all of us are feeling our age, when a game is tied at 1 set apiece, its like an unspoken rule to declare it a draw since we were already so ...
tired.
did some lazy sparring with dan and he kept hitting it to the backhand far corner which i loathe. then i decided to switch it to my left hand and make it a forehand. surprisingly it worked (tyco). but then pui was right behind and made a big hoo ha abt it. lol.
wondering if i should be in bkk with the sji peeps this year end. wanna go somewhere but at first i was thinking of going alone. guess how everything transpires this week i guess.
its weird when people regard me a a soci reference guide when i m not even a soci major. heh, i just happened to do pretty fine in it. if i could be accorded that same level of esteem in econs, i would be happier.

grr

chatted with a friend in church today
was asked,
'is your brother younger than you?'
taffy wept.

lol.
kinda exaggerated
but then.
my bro is 27!!!!!
and i m only 22!!!!

yeah maybe he looks 22,
but if he looks 22
i gotta look 18 lor!!!!

little pissed

met up with zonglun for dinner on sat. ended up watching max payne first. couple sitting beside me with 3 kids on tow. youngest one of walking age but still biting a pacifier. the kids seemed to enjoy popcorn, nachos w/ cheese as they waited for the movie to start. but as it progressed, it was clear that they were becoming restless.
"why are there so many shadows of monsters" one of the kids was asking his mum in chinese
"oh, it just a hallucination"
after a while, the mum gave up explaining and asked the kid to keep quiet.
if kids could stay quiet for that long. i would get a cap 5.
then the unthinkable happened.
the dad's (sitting beside me) phone rang.
sheepish reaction from him, spoke for a few seconds then hung up.
and it happened the second time.
i glared at him
he shuffled out to the aisle, and never came back.
since the cinema was only like 30 people packed.
suppose he found another place to sit.

2 main things
why take kids to watch max payne? and
why cant one have the basic decency to switch his phone to silent mode?

go watch high school musical instead.

anyways
when mark wahlberg drank the thing,
and the scenes after that.
i thought of 2 things
gatorade and tongkat ali ads.

born into brothels

the issue with moral ethics and consequentialism
how bad must a something get before it sparks you into action?
or would you stay put no matter how rotten it is?
our view of something rotten
is it congruent with those who are already mired in filth?
helping one is good
helping one but not helping the others
creates real imbalance

watched the born into brothels documentary.
showing one womans attempt to 'right' her version of wrong
but there is no black/white answer on whats right
in the first place
would i do the same?
working on simple straightforward faith.
or would i stand on the side
haunted by what i see?

out of it.

handed in my script after 50 mins in a 1hr 30min labour ec mtt paper.
rationale was simple, conceptual paper, no point hanging on too much.
overconfidence or foolhardiness? time will tell.
theres such a fine line seperating the two.
decided just by the points one gets.
not a very fair way of determining it.

random thoughts

felt good admitting that one isn't the same without having the same ol' company. makes a huge lot of a difference, but then in life where change is the only constant; at the end of the day, we just move on and remember those times. =p

people always seem so busy once they are attached. 2nd week in a row trying to get my budd out for dinner over the weekend but i guess thats understandable. zl is free thou' wondering if i should bother asking more out. with tc boy reminding me that i can get high stirring lech, those 39 days comes back again. crazy, rag tag, u name it. seems that its high time we meet up once again, starting with zl.

theres always a flurry of activity in church, chillout on fri, sentosa on sat, service on sun, badminton and tennis on monday. soci term assignments and interviews to settle. taff, u gotta compromise. guess i m gonna take sat a pass; and most importantly feel good about it.

singapore seen

seen at a supermarket in dempsey.

random thoughts 2

something which happened more than 15 years ago was suddenly jolted into memory.
those were the times when a school bus seats 3 to a column, so it was a tight squeeze. i was only primary 1 or 2 then, and sometimes i sit next to this older guy called patrick. could still remember that he used to have the big brother mentality, and was terribly nice to me.
there was once when one of us carried a bit more stuff to school, so it was gonna be a real real real tight squeeze if a third person came along. he asked me to sit closer, then poured water at the edge of the seat, forcing any other kid who came along to avoid it and choose somewhere else. so in the end, we had a wee bit more room to spare. weird logic then, but maybe it worked.
nice (to me) guy or a terrible bas***d? i have no idea, til today.

the constant sweeping endorsement of obama for president spooks me a little.
as much as i am agreeable to him winning,
it could just set the tone for a greater upset on the cards.
remember how hady mirza won asian idol?
bad comparison but still, you get the idea.

random rants

been realising (not that i didnt know earlier) that whining about school and its numerous deadlines do not get one much headway. seldom do i leave things, especially term assignments til the second last day to finish the bulk of it cuz i usually allow my thoughts to fester for a couple days while writing. but this time really no choice. surprised myself with 1 page done on sunday, 1 page done in 45 mins before my 10am lecture for the day and 1.5 pages in a starbucks joint alone at vivo in the afternoon.
really glad with myself for not joining some school friends to town, prolly i would not have done any work and in feeling sorry/angry for myself, much less work would be done at night.
i thrive on creating the perfect setting for work done. a little neurotic and oc, but thats just the way i m. using specific pens and papers, getting the right flavor off my lemon infusions, the list goes on.
let tues pass, get my spss done and maybe things will look up for the rest of the week. til then, lets be happy that i m kept busy still. been reminded that i am not alone and yeah, think it matters too.
pardon my random and directionless entry for today.
and yeah thanks bro btw for the watch.

mugging days

been religiously going to the cl almost every other day clocking like 3hrs of slow burning note taking before i run out of steam in the afternoon. this semester seems so much more difficult than the rest. maybe because wb is gone and i only have myself to rely on? its true that sometimes i feel more lost during lectures (jc days) but guess i gotta learn to adapt. learning the importance of having good lecture buddies and more importantly, the importance of coping well even without them.
finally got my supp card, courtesy of my bro. which means i can get myself a real belated pressie to perk up my week once again.

singapore - from place to nation

been taking new appreciation to my dear ol' ec2373 module and linking it to how i see my status as a hk born - sg bred singaporean who yearns to take root somewhere, somehow.
the title of his book says it all. Singapore - from place to nation.
hk in that respect was never a nation, just a place -
for transit, for a better life, to escape wars, to flee from, to protest, everything you can think about other than a nation.
perhaps thats the reason why so many people leave.
cuz it existed as just a place to make someones life better, and if there was any outlet for something even more, there was an onus to leave.
but behind this mini diaspora,
it reflected the innate belief that a person can make it anywhere, adapt anywhere- i applaud that nature of resilience and gunghoness that i don't think i would ever emulate (as of now).
and even if it doesnt work out,
as they always say

"when are you going back to hk?"

to my dear uncle who is in ny now,
good luck and god bless.
2k in my acc and i would fly over to pay you a visit =3

=1

should i wait for something to happen?
or should i make something happen?

i m for the latter
i just need some time
so much happening in the past 2 months
just need to sort things myself out first.
dealing with insecurities.
lots of it.

yeah i look 22 (seriously)
but maybe,
the way i think.
i seem much older.
boon or bane?
i have no idea.

hmm

got myself a pair of specs.
hope its not too nerdy.
but in any case, i m feeling
like one now haha.
cant wait for the supp card.
damn.