dreamland.

it seems that most times, i never can get 100% sleep/rest.
especially these few days when the gravity of the finals start kicking in
take money and banking for example.
one full day of comprehension
2 chapters done
out of 25.
its crazy, i know it. but by hook or by crook it has to be done
and when i proudly profess 7hrs sleep (after some last minute fb and soccernet on my phone - 6hrs 45 mins)
there comes to a point when probably it cant work out anymore.

i m a dreamer, literally.
and in those dreams, it seems to me that i am coping so well
i seem to reason my sc proj pretty well in my dreams.
ditto for money and banking.
i even dreamt on sat night that i found my watch i misplaced in church last thurs.
yeah it was still there on sun morn.
real good dreams

school seems so much tougher when i am awake tho.
kena stressed out this afternoon over some tabulations.
and jw commented that it was the first time i complained that i was stressed
well, i keep my emotions in check very well.
walking along that corridor towards the bunch of ppl checking their ec3102 grades
my heart beat a lot quicker.
i did fine. good by most standards.

sometimes you know that what you get is not deserved.
and its only through grace that you receive it.
would you continue living in that grace?
or would you work your ass off instead?

anyways.
i need 2 major decisions made by the end of this year.
positive or negative.
it doesnt matter.
i just gotta do something.
to tell myself thats what i am working for now
makes it all worthwhile.
i realise thats why i have been feeling so jaded this sem

sometimes i wonder if i could live in my dreams.
pardon my randomness for tonight